Out of the ClosetAgain
by The Lydian Lady
Summary: All Watanuki wanted was more cleaning supplies. He ended up with a cowardly magician, one lust bend demon, and one very irate boss. Crosses over with Howl's Moving Castle the book. Implied DoumekiWatanuki.


**Title**: Out of the Closet--Again  
**Rating**: PG-13 (for references)  
**Summery**: All Watanuki wanted was more cleaning supplies. He ended up with a cowardly magician, one lust bend demon, and one very irate boss.  
**Disclamer**: I do not own xxxHOLiC or Howl's Moving Castle. Sorry to disappoint  
**Spoilers**: Howl's Moving Castle and its sequel, Castle in the Air. None for xxxHOLiC, but the ending won't made sense unless you know Himawari's secret  
**Author's Notes:** I think this will make sense whether you've read Moving Castle or not, but a working knowledge of xxxHOLiC is required.

Watanuki should have known better then opening a door that just magically appeared in Yuuko's store room. It should have been obvious, but at time he simply hoped it contained a broom closet with some more dust rags. He had just been contemplating moving everything outside again, because of the dirt, when the door had appeared. Watanuki had long since taken for granted that the room was magic and that it (occasionally) provided what he needed. So it was with minimal hesitation that he opened the door and peered in. At first glance it looked as if the magic door did contain a broom closet. It was perhaps a little grimmer then most broom closets he had seen (most people he knew didn't keep bloody swords with their cleaning supplies) and the stone walls and flooring didn't match the rest of Yuuko's place, but none of these things bothered Watanuki much. At this point he had seen the store come up with far stranger things.

Our blue eyed hero wasted no time in digging through the closet in search of dust rags. He was muttering to himself about the need for organization when the door shut behind him. It was then he noticed that the closet did not have any light sources. Watanuki felt the bottom of his stomach drop from his body. No. This was not good. Turning around and rushing blindly forward Watanuki prayed that the door would not be locked. It had taken him two days and the loss of his virginity to get out of the closet the last time he had been locked in. Granted he hadn't heard any manic laughter coming from the other side of the door, and there was a distinct lack of both sex toys and Shizuka in the room this time… but still… fumbling blindly for the doorknob Watanuki felt a great rush of relief when it turned and door slowly pushed open. Then he got a good look at just what the door was opening to and he started cursing all over again. He shut the door and then opened it again. Nothing. Damn Yuuko.

It ought to have taken a lot to surprise a magician like Howl. In the course of his studies he had traveled to many different worlds and seen many different things. Even in the world he currently resided in strange things abounded.

Even his wife for example, was full of surprises, always doing the unexpected. She was a witch in her own right, but not a witch like any other in the world; she spoke life (and occasionally death) into things… And when he proposed to her for example he enchanted flowers to grow where her feet stepped and birds to sing on her shoulders. A magical breeze artfully played with her hair and her skin gave off a luminous glow.

"Sophie my love" he told her "this is how you appear to me every day. Marry me, my love, and I'll do my best to fulfill your every wish. I cannot live without you my love and…" Howl gave a dreamy smile as he remembered her reply.

"Take these enchantments off this instant Howell Jenkins! I don't need any of your melodrama to understand your feelings. Do you even comprehend how inconvenient all this is? Goodness! I can only hope our children take after me…" It was, Howl recalled, at this point that he realized Sophie had accepted his offer. With a cry of joy he had launched himself at her and spun her around laughing until he cried. He also took off most enchantments. Sophie was right; the idea of poor flowers trying grow out of cobblestone was enough to make him wince and birds were terribly dirty creatures…

There was also her ability to transform into a large black cat; an ability she shared with their oldest son, Morgan. Howl often wondered if the Djin's laziness came at the beginning or at the end, because as far as he could figure it there were only two explanations for their ability. Either the Djin had gotten sloppy at the end and hadn't properly ended the spell or he had slacked in the beginning and merely brought out a natural ability that Sophie already had and fixed so she could turn back. Howl hopped the answer was the later as residual curses could be a nuisance when you least expected it.

Considering all the events in Howl's life the sight of a young man walking out of he broom closet yelling angrily in a foreign language shouldn't have phased him at all. But Howl, who was after all, highly predictable (in spite of lively lifestyle) did the only thing he could think of. He ran to the back garden to fetch his wife. Sophie would know how to handle this.

As Watanuki ranted his way out of the broom closet he saw a man with glass green eyes and hair that was an improbable shade of yellow. It reminded him vividly of Tanpopo. Watanuki frowned as the strange man rushed out of the room before he could say a word. It was about that time that things got really strange, for through a third door came a creature. A creature that made Watanuki very, very nervous. He had green flames where his hair ought have been and when Watanuki looked into his eyes he saw purple flame in place of an iris. His white skin burned like star light and Watanuki noticed, in a back corner of his mind, that the creature –demon—was quite good looking.

The demon (Watanuki decided he was definitely a demon) leaned against one wall and looked Watanuki over. "There's a part of me that would like to devour you," his voice was deep and warm and scared Watanuki from head to toe "but Howl wouldn't like that much, and I've decided that devouring you figuratively will be far more enjoyable." One flaming eyebrow went up, "And repeatable."

Watanuki shivered and took a step back. There was a part of him that wanted Shizuka to

pop up and shoot this demon with chi arrows until he was dead. Most Watanuki however

was aware that his blood always made spirits react. Generally it was an "I want to KILL you and EAT you!" kind of reaction, a few times it had been an "I want to watch you and adore you and protect you" sort of thing. This reaction was new, but Watanuki supposed it was not entirely unexpected.

While he was thinking the demon had been moving steadily forward, and Watanuki's body had steadily backwards. Now he found himself in between a wall and the demon, who was currently resting his forearms on Watanuki's shoulders and staring deep into his eyes. Watanuki swallowed as exquisite waves of heat were sent from the demon's body into his. The demon was looking deeply into Watanuki's eyes "I knew; I knew the minute you showed up. I could feel your presence and I knew. I've been so lonely ever since Howl married Sophie. I never thought I would meet someone who could understand." The demon's face was getting closer and his deep warm sad voice made Watanuki unhappy and more then a little nervous. He wondered if kneeing him in the groin could be considered unsympathetic. Then he wondered if kneeing him in the groin would have any effect at all.

He was just on the verge of an answer when a sharp voice called out "Calcifer! Just what do you think you're doing?!" English, Watanuki's brain registers as the demon (Calcifer?) jumps back and turns into something vague and indistinct and flame shaped. He slunk off to a far corner of the room and watched Watanuki. "Are you alright? I couldn't understand what he was saying but I don't think he meant to hurt you." The woman turned to Calcifer. "You had better not have had any intention of hurting him!"

Watanuki smiled at her and said in slow English "I don't think he had any ill intentions. Spirits are often…affected by my blood. They can't always control their actions if they are unused to it."

The woman turned to him and narrowed her pretty blue eyes. "Just who are you anyway? Howl wasn't too clear on the situation. Where did you come from? Why are you here?"

Watanuki reflected that when the light bounced off the woman's golden red hair it looked almost as fiery as Calcifer's had. Bowing slightly and reminding himself to Romanize his name he said "I am Kimihiro Watanuki. I came in through your broom closet on accident and I am very sorry for any inconvenience this might have caused you." Watanuki had a sudden urge to say something else something terribly rude and forward and completely unlike him. Luckily he had some self control; or so he thought. "What was up with that blue suit? Could it have been any more retina damaging? And with his hair? (How does he even get his hair that color anyhow?) What is it with magicians? Why do they always feel entitled to wear the most ridiculous clothing? My boss Yuuko-san…" Watanuki paled and trailed off. Had he really just said what he thought he just said? What was he thinking? This lady was going to kick him out of her house! And rightly so, he had after all been unpardonably rude.

He found both woman and demon giving him thoughtful looks. Watanuki was just about to slink out of the room when he heard a loud burst of laughter. And then a second separate burst of laughter. "I think I've asked my husband that a thousand times. He never has an answer; vain as he is." She rolled her eyes. "I'm Sophie, by the way. Sophie Jenkins. Come into the kitchen and have some tea."

Some time later Watanuki watched, amused, as Sophie waved a wooden spoon through the air. "…a vain, stubborn, idiotic, cowardly liar of man." Watanuki was impressed, as a follower of the 'insult a person to show you care about them' methodology he could recognize a master when he saw one. Clearly he still had a ways to go. She even managed to turn the word 'man' into an insult. Man wouldn't work in Watanuki's case but 'archer' might do…

Howl knew he was in trouble the moment he saw her fall from the sky. She was at least two inches taller then him, had jet black hair, amethyst eyes and boy did she look mad. Howl knew better then to try and run, even at his most cowardly Howl knew when running would be futile. It always was when running from Yuuko. Howl had learned that the hard way.

"Why did you kidnap my Charge?" her voice was ice and needles.

Howl answered this question the only way he knew how; "What?"

"I found your portal— very inelegant I must say— I know you have him, I can feel him in your home. Take me to him, at once or you shall not live to see your son's tenth birthday."

"Ah, a boy did come in earlier, and I can take you to him…but I didn't kidnap him. I don't even know who he is." Howl turned around and headed towards the kitchen, Sophie was undoubtedly serving tea. He hoped Yuuko would follow without asking too many questions.

"Howell Jenkins, What have you done now?" Howl gave a deep sigh; and he had thought his last encounter with Yuuko was bad…

"I don't think I did anything. I certainly didn't call him here. He just sort of walked through my broom cupboard. Raging about you, actually."

"I've changed my mind Jenkins. Take me to portal instead." She was still glaring daggers into his back. She really didn't approve of his dimensional traveling.

Ten minutes later Yuuko's glare was stronger then ever. "Tut tut, Mr. Jenkins, just what did you think you were doing here? A one way portal is very dangerous."

Howell began speaking very fast. "Ah, well. Its like this. I was making an emergency portal. I tend to make people mad at, but you know that of course. So I made it one way so no one could follow… I must have switched the dimensional matrix somewhere. Maybe when I…but anyway Sophie (my wife) found out and she didn't want me to use the broom closet; so I stopped the project. Before I linked it to a physical place you see. And I intended to move some place else, but then Sophie got pregnant again and there wasn't time and I forgot about it and never unconstructed it. Ah, which is quite stupid I know, but it turned out to be twins and I wasn't really sleeping much, and was just so easy to forget and I'm really really really sorry." And Howl was; if he had cleaned up his work Yuuko wouldn't be here now.

"Get the wine from your cellar Mr. Jenkins. Then we will discuss payment." And with that Yuuko marched straight out a door that led directly to the kitchen. Quite a feat considering that ten seconds ago there wasn't such a door.

A half dozen people sat around the large wooden table. Yuuko was draped across a chair, pipe in one hand. Perhaps half a dozen children surrounded her.

A little girl with blond pigtails looked up and told her gravely. "My aunt told me smoking will give you cancer."

Yuuko looked at the child and said with mock-seriousness "Cancer, what is that?"

"Bad things will grow in your body."

"I see, perhaps I will stop then." She put the pipe away into a pocket that hadn't existed the moment before. Watanuki wondered if they would lend the child to him for a while. Perhaps she could get Yuuko to stop drinking as well.

Without a pipe Yuuko needed something to do; Watanuki knew that in a moment she would demand food or drink. Both probably. "A little more Howell darling; and I need some snacks. No Watanuki sit down. Howell has put you through quite an ordeal, you need your rest."

Looking away from the children Watanuki wondered quite seriously about just what world this Yuuko came from. Surely she wasn't the actual woman Watanuki worked for. He watched as the magician made cookies and tried to charm his way out of his bill. It was an amusing—if pointless—endeavor. His wife seemed to enjoy it too "Howl gets too big for his britches if he isn't reminded of his limitations once in a while. Usually it involves some kind of national danger and unrest. Its nice to see something a little more contained." Watanuki wondered if she would feel the same way once she heard the price. He had a feeling it was less contained then the woman thought. After three cups of wine and a plate full of cookies Yuuko got to the point. "I will fix your portal for you, change the directional matrix and set it to a safe location." Howl sagged with relief. "On one condition: you will not be able to enter it. Your family can escape to safety, but you must stay behind and face whatever danger comes." Howl sagged further, though not with relief. His children looked confused, his wife thoughtful.

"Children. I want you to go visit Aunt Martha, ok? Mark, take everyone to your mother." There was some grumbling; but one by one the children filed out of the room.

Yuuko continued. "I will also be taking Watanuki home myself, and you will pay for that too and for your incompetence."

Howl's voice was stiff "And what will that be?"

"I want to train your eldest daughter."

"Mary? But she doesn't have any magic." It was Sophie who cut in, she sounded confused and possibly a tad desperate.

Yuuko smiled her usual 'I-know-what-you-cannot' smile "A person must grow into their magic. For Mary, it will take a lot of growing. When she comes into her power, you will know. And so will I."

Everyone at the table blanched and Yuuko's face grew softer "Do not worry; I will not keep her from you. She will be free to visit. I simply want to make sure she is trained properly." Everyone at the table gave a great sigh.

"Come Watanuki, we shall be going." Watanuki shifted.

"Wait, there's one more issue."

Yuuko raised her eyebrow and looked unsurprised. "Is there?"

Watanuki glanced towards the corner where Calcifer sat, staring at him. "Yeah, it's about your demon…"

Calcifer, who had been sitting in the corner, staring at Watanuki, said in a sulky voice: "What about me?"

Everyone turned and stared at Watanuki; "Well, its just, he told me he's…lonely."

"Watanuki. We cannot help everyone. Sometimes there is nothing you or I can—" Yuuko cut herself off, eyes gleaming "You know; the laws of Luck are different for demons. Perhaps…"\ Watanuki held his head in his hands and cut her off with a muffled groan. He should have known better then to mention it to Yuuko.


End file.
